


Every Day in Between

by orphan_account



Series: Skye's Secret Past [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Female Friendship, Gen, Honesty, Past Abortion, Past Lives, Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:24:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1749425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye finds out some bad news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Day in Between

“There’s no reason to worry. Every member of S.H.I.E.L.D has to undergo a compulsory physical examination. It’s just protocol.” Jemma said reassuringly while rubbing Skye’s shoulder.

“Yep, we all get checked up every year to make sure we’re fit for field duty.” Fitz added. “Me and Jems had to have ours before they let us on the bus. Scientists don’t usually have to have it…”

“…but then again most scientists don’t get stationed in the field.” Jemma finished.

“Do you guys practice that when I’m not around?” Skye joked. “Or have you been together so long you’ve actually merged into one mind?”

“Ha ha.” Fitz said sarcastically. “We’re trying to be reassuring here, you could at least be grateful.”

“Relax, I’m not worried. What’s the worse they could do right?” She picked up her bag. “I’ll come see you when I get back okay.”

 

**********

 

When they said a full body check up they meant it. They even gave her a CAT scan. She had blood samples taken, urine samples and to her horror stool samples. What they were looking for was beyond her.

After all the medical stuff was out of the way they’d moved onto physical tests which included running on a tread mill for half an hour. But honestly after all of her training with Ward it was practically a walk in the park.

Now all she had to do was sit around and wait for the all clear. Reaching into her rucksack she brought out a book. Ward had decided to start setting her books after catching her reading the Hunger Games – _again_. Apparently becoming a field agent involved training the mind as well as the body – that’s what he said anyway. As long as it stopped him from making her do pull ups though she’d read anything.

Running a hand over the cover she read the title. _Hard Times_. Well that sounded cheery. At least he wasn’t making her read _War and Peace_ or _Moby Dick_. For now anyway.

She’d barely hit the second chapter when the doctor came back out. God this book was painful to read.

“Agent…Skye.”

“Yep.” She’d really have to consider making up a last name. Agent Skye sounded kinda ridiculous.

“We have your results back. You’re physically fit though something did come up and we weren’t sure whether you were aware of it or not. We weren’t given access to your medical history.”

“Oh yeah sorry I had to delete that…” Skye said anxiously rubbing her hands on her thighs. Yeah after leaving foster care she hadn’t lived the best life but she was still racking her head to think of anything long lasting.

“The CAT scan revealed damage to your uterus.”

Skye drew a sharp breath. Well it’s not like she hadn’t expected…I mean it was always a possibility right. “Yeah I figured something like that…” she trailed off not knowing really what to say and not knowing what to ask. “Am I still cleared to go back in the field?”

“Yes you have a full bill of health. You can leave as soon as you are ready.” She said with a level of emphasis. Her expression was sympathetic.

“Thank you.”

The doctor turned to leave.

“Wait…” Skye called back. “Just, so I know, in the _long_ term, does this mean I can’t…?”

“You could never carry a child no.”

“Oh.” She twined her hands together. “Well that’s fine. I mean, I’ve never wanted kids anyway.”

“I understand.” The woman said and throwing Skye another kind look moved out of the room.

Silently she stood up and headed for the bathroom leaving her things behind.

 

**********

 

“Skye.” Jemma said merrily as she set foot on the plane. “How did it go?”

Skye knew her face looked normal, she’d made sure the redness had gone down before she left but her skin still had that dry feeling it sometimes experiences after crying. Any face she tried to make felt wrong. She tried to look natural but it just felt so off like her muscles were refusing to cooperate.

“Fine. They cleared me.”

“There we said you’d be alright didn’t we.” She said still beaming. Evidently Skye’s face was just fine. At least in Jemma’s eyes.

“Yep. Anyway I’m going to hit the shower. I feel a bit…”

“Oh I know the feeling. It’s like how many tests could you humanly run!” Jemma said.

“Yeah. Anyway see you in a bit.” She said rather awkwardly and made her way up the spiral staircase. Finding the lounge blissfully empty she threw her bag in her bunk and made a line straight for the shower and locked herself inside.

She was being ridiculous anyway. She’s known after that stupid abortion there may have been permanent damage. What had she expected, at least considering where she got it done? But it’s not like she could have raised a kid she had only been seventeen.

Besides she’d decided a long time ago she didn’t want kids. Why was she freaking out about this? It’s not like she’d grown up playing make believe like the other girls about future motherhood. Hell being an S.H.I.E.L.D agent and motherhood didn’t exactly sound compatible. And giving up S.H.I.E.L.D? No that could never happen. She loved it here. It was her home. It gave her a reason. Hope. Everyone on this bus was her family, she didn’t need a child to give her that. She’d still get to become a kick-ass aunt one day when Fitzsimmons stopped playing dumb and finally got started with the baby making. And pregnancy and birth was gross anyway. And babies, all they did was poop and fart and pee and eat and sleep and make spit bubbles. Whenever she’d had to look after them at St. Agnes it had been boring. No she didn’t want that. And if she ever did decide to have kids she could adopt. A child. She could give a mini her a home. And just because she didn’t give birth to it wouldn’t make her any less of a mom.

But all that was irrelevant because she never wanted children.

Suddenly aware of how long she’d been stood in the bathroom she hastily turned on the shower taps and stripped before stepping in. She really needed to get her shit together before she saw Coulson, May or Ward. Acting fine around Jemma and Leo was fine but these guys were trained in lie detection. And the last thing she needed was to talk about it.

 

**********

 

“Skye.” Ward tapped on her door. “Did you forget about training this morning. _Again_.” He said through gritted teeth. Sometimes that girl had the attention span of a needle.

There was no answer so he entered the override code and found her bunk empty.

He strode into the kitchen and the bathroom was empty. Perplexed he made his way back down to the cargo hold to find her stretching next to the punching bag.

“There you are.” She said her usual smile absent.

“Where did you come from?”

“Huh?”

“You weren’t here on time so I went to your bunk but you weren’t there.”

“Oh I was in the back of the lab. Jemma needed my help with something computer related.”

“Computer related?”

“I’d go into details but really would you understand anyway?”

She had a point. “Never mind let’s just get started.”

“What no push ups for tardiness?”

“No you did all the physical tests at the base yesterday anyway. How did that go by the way?”

“Fine.”

That was it? He thought she’d complain about the invasiveness at least a little bit.

“Fine?”

“Yeah they gave me a full bill of health.” She said giving him a small smile. “Are we gonna start?”

“Sure.”

They managed to work out for a good few hours. She seemed just as focused as always and she didn’t snap at him and complain like she usually did when she was upset or angry. But something still felt off. She wasn’t as smiley as usual. She didn’t tease him.

When he ran into Simmons later he quickly pulled her over. She was Skye’s friend after all.

“Hey Simmons did Skye seem off to you this morning?”

“Actually I haven’t seen her today yet why?”

“You haven’t seen her? But she said she was with you in the lab this morning before training?”

Simmons looked confused. “I haven’t been in the lab at all today. I was with Fitz in the kitchen trying to bake shortbread. Is she alright?”

He paused. “I think so, I was just wondering.”

Simmons’ frown deepened.

“Anyway thanks.” He said awkwardly before heading off to the lounge.

 

**********

 

“Skye.” Fitzsimmons said from outside her door. Jemma had filled Leo in on her conversation with Ward before. Now they stood waiting for her with a plate of slightly burned shortbread. The next time Fitz got homesick she would have to try and get him to put his kilt on instead – it would be much funnier.

The door slid open. “Hey. What’ve you got there?”

Jemma sneaked a look at Fitz out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t know what Ward was talking about Skye looked just fine.

“Shortbread, want a piece? Or two?” She said pushing the plate forward.

“But no more than two.” Fitz said.

“Erm okay.” She gingerly took a piece. “Thanks.”

Fitz started to walk away and as Skye shut the door she moved aside and allowed Jemma to see a small pile of tissues at the foot of her bed.

“Skye?” Jemma said in a hushed tone. When Fitz turned to see why she wasn’t following him he sensibly went on without her.

“What?” Skye said dropping her tone too.

“Are you alright?”

Skye straightened and put the shortbread up to her mouth. “Yeah.” She took a deliberately large bite.

“Did everything go okay yesterday?”

She waited for Skye to finish chewing and swallow and then fixed her with a glare.

“Yeah of course, I told you that.”

“You know I can request your medical files.”

Was it her imagination or did Skye look hurt?

“It is something to do with your check up isn’t it? Oh god what is it? They’re supposed to inform me of any medical conditions.”

“Oh shut up it’s nothing serious.” Skye said rolling her eyes. She quickly scanned the corridor before yanking Jemma into her bunk and shutting the door.

“Well.”

“They just confirmed something for me.”

“What?”

She didn’t say anything but just pointedly looked at her shoes.

“Skye?”

“I can’t have kids.”

Jemma swallowed. Gently she pulled her friend into a hug.

“It’s just silly you know.” Skye’s voice was mumbled as she spoke into the crook of her neck. “I never wanted kids I don’t know why I’m acting weird about it.”

She smoothed her hair and deliberated her answer. “Maybe it isn’t not having kids.” She said slowly. “Maybe it’s having the choice taken away from you?”

Jemma took her silence as a agreement and continued to stroke her hair.

Eventually Skye pulled back and with a sigh sat on her bed, leaning against the wall.

“You said they confirmed it. You already knew?”

Skye patted the bed next to her and Jemma took a seat.

“I had an abortion when I was seventeen. I couldn’t afford to go anywhere nice so I got a cheap one from this guy.”

“This guy?”

“Yeah, anyway it was fairly clean but the tools were quite old. But clean I made sure they were cleaned.”

“But?”

“I was in pain for the next few weeks, caught a fever. There was a fair bit of blood. The doctor told me my uterus was damaged. I’m guessing that’s what did it.”

“They told you you can’t have children.”

“Yep.”

“Skye.” She said gently and pulled her to her side and continued to hug her.

 

**********

 

Simmons and Skye were spending much more time together. Once Ward caught them hugging in the kitchen before they’d jumped apart when he came inside and hastily continued making sandwiches.

However when he tried to ask Simmons what was going on she awkwardly tried to tell him everything was fine before rambling and then running off pink in the face. He tried to break Fitz to find him as clueless as he was.

“I don’t know but I’ve hardly seen Jemma in days. Do you think she’s alright?”

Ward rolled his eyes before heading to the cargo bay where he’d told Skye to meet him for an afternoon workout.

“Hey S.O.” She said seeming the cheeriest she had been for the last week. “What’re we doing?”

“I thought we’d run laps.”

She pulled a face. “Fine – you know you’re kinda boring sometimes.”

“So you’ve said. Shall we get started?”

 

**********

 

Skye walked into her bunk and shut the door behind her. Today had been a good day. The first in what felt like a while. Things seemed to finally be getting back to normal. Fitzsimmons were being mad scientists. May and Coulson still had babied her. Ward made her do extra workouts and she teased him mercilessly. Sure there was a level of predictability about their week. They’d get an assignment, there’d be some weird stuff going on. But she’d have them all to fall back on when things got bad. She’d never had that before. She used to be afraid that they’d reject her, like all her foster families used to do. But now, she knew that S.H.I.E.L.D had always been trying to protect her, and they still were.

Her conversation with Jemma had been good. She used to think it was best to keep things to herself, to not talk about them. But opening up to someone she could trust was amazing. She felt ten pounds lighter.

Moving to her bed she stopped as she saw a box sitting on her pillow. Looking around, not putting it past Fitz to try and prank her yet again, she moved forward and picked it up. It was light in the palm of her hand and she gently opened it, hesitant of what she might find inside.

To her surprise all she found was a slip of paper. Turning it over it read:

_One day off training._

It was unsigned but then again it didn’t need to be.


End file.
